Milestones... A Dream Deferred

     This year will mark my 25th birthday, which means I will be officially old enough to say things like "back in the day". Now I will suffer the blank stares from youth looking at me when I become nostalgic over memories of Mr. Dressup, A Diff'rent World, Ghost Writer, and Boy Meets World, and be mocked for being 'ol school.

     Growing up in boring suburbia, I had envisioned my 20s to be an exciting time. Like most people, not just 20-year-olds, I figured I would be working in an industry that really showed off my best character traits that catered to or provided a means for my thirst for adventure, and earn enough for retirement. But sadly, that isn't the case. The dynamics of today's world have changed sooo dramatically that it rarely matters if you are highly educated or not; most entry level jobs within any given industry are so menial that anyone with a high school diploma can do it, yet they still require a post-secondary education. Making good money in today's world is, well, really a waiting game... and luck. To ask for that pay raise, or go full-time, or even step into a higher level of management you got to ask when sales are doing well (so forget about asking during January or February), keep track of who in the company whose position you want - or can at least do just as well - who is fucking up (i.e. taking long lunches, abandoning their shifts, needing time off too often etc.) as these are all scenarios where you can come in and kiss a lot of ass, er, show off your level of commitment - though, you too have been half-assing your whole tenure the entire time - and put forth a basic case to move up on the rat-bitten financial ladder.

    That's right, everyone! We live in a world where the idea of living peacefully with others is a concept that is often laughed at and reduced to personal associations with the "hippie" sub-culture rather than a logical step toward a more civil society. It's not enough to simply aspire to have a career, you got to be cut-troat about getting it. Only those who lie and cheat prosper, and those who don't... get exploited but still have their integrity. Which side are you on???

    Hardly a week goes by without me feeling restless about my life. I am nowhere near this dream of being a career women that past generations seemed to so easily slide into by my age. Complete with a marriage, a kid, a pet and a dental plan. And, yet, sometimes I find myself thinking why these milestones matter. Are they my own desires or ones that are pressed upon me by society. Could my life be just as fulfilling without marriage, kids, pets or dental plans, or is that just an excuse for complacency?

     I am not ashamed to want these things, no matter how imposed these ideals are, but I want to achieve this standard of living with integrity, compassion, and sound work ethic. I want to live a life where all my creative and philosophical energies are continuously put towards making this world more peaceful, more modern... more civilized. If I achieve nothing else in this brief moment in time I call life, then I can finish the mile without the stones.



What do you think? Is expecting certain things to happen in your life because of your age an outdated concept? Or are they just as relevant today as they were 60 years ago?

Never Say Never... Journey Into Another Food Label Pt 2

      Lets recount shall we? Since discovering the hell that is factory farming - or livestock farming in general - in early May of 2011 I've went from being a full vegan (which lasted for about 4 days) back to white-meat-only and seafood, to being a pescatarian, to a full vegetarian by August 2011. What a rapid change, huh? By October I gave up eggs, but on occasion still ate cheese and consumed things with honey.

      Like cheese, I don't go out of my way and pick up honey when I do groceries, but I also don't go out of my way to avoid it either. By that I am referring to the vast array of cereals, sandwich spreads, and beverages which contain honey as a natural sweetener. As I am to understand, there is a "great divide" among many vegans, whom on one side, see the continued consumption of honey as a grey area, if not an exceptional option, of ethical concern while a majority find it a failure of living up to the highest ideals of what veganism is ALL about. I, of course, lend my support to the former, though, on certain conditions. To me, I find the business of beekeeping not as severe in ethical weight as oppose to the horror faced by cows, pigs, poultry, fish and now horses in the U.S. for every second the clock ticks. Oops! There goes that bias again, someone pass me a mirror. But seriously speaking -  bees live a far more natural life than other animals. Yes, I understand that a small portion of female honeybees' reproductive system is exploited to harvest more bees, and their bounty is taken away from them which is still a grievance much like a calf drawn away from its mother so humans can take their milk, and for those reasons I think vegans make an excellent argument. But I don't endorse the general demonizing of all beekeepers. Since most hobbyist typically leave more than enough food for their bees in the winter to survive on, and only sell honey (not its wax or combs for its use in other things) as a secondary means of income, I don't see any ethical dilemma: bees live lives that are relatively undisturbed until it's time to harvest - a stark difference when you compare the ever-full conveyor belts and tanks of fully-conscious land and sea animals. In fact, I would take a gamble in saying that the significant decline in honeybees worldwide may stem from the food mono-cultures and pesticides that humans have decided with their purchasing power they want harvested in abundance - not by the conditions of beekeeping. So if you want to give the little guys a break, please start growing your own nuts, fruits and veggies.

First Read: Why honey is NOT vegan
Then Read: Meet my beekeeper

    Currently, I have no need to buy honey right now - though if I did, I would support a local hobbyist beekeeper (which is for more environmental reasons than ethical). I am taking the time to explore the vast array of vegan alternative sweeteners (rolls my eyes) that abolitionist vegans won't stfu about. Yes, I will admit I do like agave nectar, and for the price and size that I purchase it for coincides with how much I actually do use - though I still think it should be much cheaper, and I end up using a lot in my teas - but I look forward to trying brown rice syrups, Stevia etc. etc.  But know this: I won't intentionally avoid honey if it shows up in an ingredients list; there are just way too many good cereals to pass up on just to avoid that 1 sweetener. So bee it. I maybe willing to give up cheese one day, but not honey. Like I said before, I'm not really attached to dietary labels, but if I were asked I would say that I identify as a lacto-vegetarian only because I fail in being a consistent vegan by eating cheese croissants once in a while but eschew every other dairy derivative such as cream cheese, sour cream, ice cream etc. This may be as far I am willing to go... but, you never know.


What do you think? Do you have a high esteem about your diet, or could you do without the food labels? Does honey help or hurt the cause for veganism?

Never Say Never... Journey Into Another Food Label Pt 1

    Never say never. As stated before in my last entry much has happened during my hiatus. As a new vegetarian, I continuously sought out more nutritional informational to make sure I wasn't overloading my diet on some things, and depriving it of others. From time to time, though, I would browse through peoples online testimonials of their reasons for going vegetarian or vegan. One would think after six months of progressing into a vegetarian diet these stories of awakening and transition would lose their luster - after all, my reasons to forgo my contribution to the misery of up to 45 billion land animals worldwide, minimize my ecological footprint, and protect myself from certain impurities that can lead to life-threatening diseases were reflected countless times in their statements. Instead, they continued to be a source of inspiration, but more importantly, a mirror to my own certain biases toward some land animals' plights, and not others.

    Cage-free. Free-run. Organic. As an ovo-vegetarian, I wanted my purchases to reflect my convictions. I really believed that as long as I bought from farmers who allow their hens to live in a comfortable environment nothing was ethically wrong with eating eggs; hens lay eggs - period, so if I want to include it into my diet i figured I could at least get 'em from farms with small flocks that were still organic and free-run. I was even willing to pay extra for those types of eggs in support of that conviction. I went to Wholefoods and searched online to find a couple of local farmers that produced such types that fit this criteria, but their websites were rather plain and didn't give me much insight. So, rather than leave this subject alone and living in blissful ignorance, I continued to seek information regarding small flock farms. Turns out, a small flock is typically 500 of 'em still crammed wing-to-wing in a large house. Needless to say, thereafter, I could no longer in good conscious eat eggs ever again. Keeping 500 hens pent-up their whole lives - cage-free or not - coupled with the inhumane euthanizing of newborn male chicks and the practice of de-beaking was way more than what I was willing to compromise in my ethics on animal exploitation. So in late October 2011, I gave up eggs for good.

     This was by NO MEANS an easy thing for me to do. It was second-nature for me to just crack a few in a pan, sandwich it between two slices of toasted bread and call it a breakfast. But now that eggs were no longer a breakfast option for me anymore, I didn't know what I was going to do. It sounds ridiculous but... I was nervous and scared. I scrambled (get it) the internet for some quick and easy breakfast ideas. Tofu scramble was okay, but I was growing tired of it, and I found the cream of wheat to heavy when combined with my other breakfast favorites like toast and cereals. It was my good friend who suggested I get back into eating hash browns. I swear he is a genius. Initially, it was a trial-some 30 days going without eating eggs (constant cravings, envy, even borderline psychosis occupied that period) but by December those symptoms had waned. I started to experiment more in the kitchen and now enjoy a plethora of options in the morning.

     So had I officially become a vegan? Not quite... at least if you put me up against another vegan by abolitionist standards. Though I managed to kick eating eggs for good, I fell back into the block cheese cycle. Now, when I do groceries, I don't intentionally pick up block cheese or ANY dairy product, but when I am out on the street and I am in a Tim Hortons or Second Cup I don't necessarily deny myself the addictive pleasure of cheese bagels or croissants either. At first, I felt guilty every single time (still do sometimes, I won't lie) for my lack of will power in resisting the hypnotizing allure of cheese, and I  tried to curb this habit by only indulging once in a long while, but, still, the guilt creeps in. Fortunately, the more I read about transitioning to a vegan diet, the less I gave myself hell for it. I realized that my intention was to give up cheese for good someday and that I have to respect myself for going about it at my own speed, not others... and certainly not for some social title. I do my best to avoid it... but I don't deprive myself of it, if that's what I want - which is, thankfully, not often. As I learn more about nutritional yeast and non-dairy cheese sauce recipes, just like the hashbrowns, I'm sure living a life after dairy cheese will soon become second-nature ;)