One Year Later: A Rude Awakening to a Better Me

18/09/10

      See this pic. Yeah, that's me about year ago. The aftermath to having asked my uncle to take me to the barber to cut my 3yrs- and-3mth-old Sisterlocks off. I wont even tell you how much they cost, but compared to other bloggers, I paid SIGNIFICANTLY less and I only had to sit for 11hrs (Technically 12hrs, 'cause my loctician did take a break). I was getting so frustrated with having them, so along with my feelings of relief of freeing my hair from the bondage of locs, I also felt like a total idiot because I had just spent good money ordering the Nappyloc tool - that I only used once. Argh!!!

27/09/11

       I keep the damn thing because I feel like I may never know when I just may want to start loc'ing again, but then I think about the effort in trying to keep it lint-free and I don't let my memories manifest into anything more. Like most women who get this trademarked 'do, I felt that even the standard-sized set that I had put in, was still too small! I had a hard time keeping it moisturized despite my best efforts and by that time I had started learning about how to to maintain loose, natural tresses by watching Kimmaytube and wanted to embark on that journey instead.

      But altering my hairstyle wasn't the only thing that would change in the year to come. That "Big Chop" jump-started a lot of maturing I needed to do. From organizing my finances - thanks to Canadian money-guru Gail Vaz-Oxlade (gotta buy her book soon) - to getting to a level of consciousness about the world that has shifted all of my values since I was young. And of course, learning to love myself.

      The rude awakening of not getting into Grad school made me consider other career options (more on that later), and a good friend told me to use this time to reflect and really define myself - don't hide in school unless you know for sure that what your studying is something you are truly passionate about. So, during the summer of 2011 I set aside my crippled ego, and I finally came to terms with every facet of my young-adult life. I looked at my spiritual beliefs, my diet, my carbon footprint - all of it, and I defined it by myself, for myself. Of course, there were sparks of inspiration from the outside world, but the follow-through in doing my own research has led me to being the woman I am today: a happier person, a healthier person. Not only is my perkier self  (gosh i hate to say it like that, and at all) is taking a positive toll on my personal life (I don't struggle to smile anymore, it's like second-nature now), but also in the work place. Call it good karma, I don't know, but I'm now interning at a film distribution company and I have much more energy that is even surprising ME! I skipped breakfast and I didn't start feeling tired until 12:00pm (I rolled out of bed around 6:30am). For the first time ... I don't know, since puberty I guess, I am really enjoying my life... despite all its hardships. I feel good in the way I vote with my dollar when I make a purchase, the guilt-free feeling and amount of stored energy when I sit down to eat, and my increased involvement in social causes. I love it all.

Now...


Ovo-Vegetarian vs. Veganism

     I know it's not good to say "never". I said that about 1% milk once, then I started drinking 1% milk and loved it. I said that about salt-free butter, then I started eating started buying salt-free butter. And of course, I said I would NEVER be a vegetarian - my best friend is a non-preachy lacto-ovo-vegetarian and not ONCE during our 14-year friendship did she pressure me into switching. I would ask her questions and she would give me a straight answer - no long-winded story. Now look at me. One dumbass Vegan Outreach pamphlet later, and a single viewing of Earthlings and I'm leading a mostly-vegan lifestyle. Will I make the full switch? That is my Ovo-vegetarian dilemma - as I find eggs to be a natural and delicious source of B12, despite such cruelty involved. But I always tell people, my vegetarian diet is based mostly on my health and the environment and I try to do as much as I can to curb my carbon-footprint. But I would be living a hypocritical life if I tout my environmentalism and still contribute to an industry that is a cause of greenhouse gases. The body can store 3 -20 years worth of vitamin B-12 before one is deemed deficient, so... I have concluded with my conscious that if I am going to eat whole eggs still, I have to buy free-run and organic and not make it a staple in my diet. The months where I do go without eating whole eggs, I won't avoid in other foods that contain them- like mayonnaise, or egg noodles (I am also finding more and more foods that contain only egg whites - a waste of a good egg IMO, but still lower in bad cholesterol). If I choose these egg-based foods I am not consuming as much eggs and I have variety in my food.

So the question remains: will I ever go vegan? I will not say 'never', instead, I'll just say.... not today. Simply having a dairy-free diet is still eating mostly vegan stuff and still having the positive benefits of a healthier diet. I don't like pill or powder supplements, and I don't eat fungus either, so eating eggs for B12 is as much dietary restriction that I am willing to undergo for the sake of my health, planet and animals as of right now. But like I said... becoming a vegan... I can't ever say 'never'.